When I started on the physical body part of my Mind, Body and Spirit journey a few months ago (Please note this is certainly not the first time I have been on this part of the journey, and that’s another story for another day) I had a very profound conversation with my trainer, she asked me ‘what are your reasons for pursuing this’? I told her very clearly and firmly that I didn’t feel strong in my physical body, something was amiss between my mind and body connection and as strong as I felt in my mind and Spirit I certainly didn’t feel it in my body. She asked me do you have weight goals I added equally as firmly that it would be a bonus to have a hot rocking body, as we expanded the conversation I admitted that it was in fact one of my biggest fears, she said you have a fear of getting into a certain shape? In that moment it truly hit me the extent of how this had impacted my life, I was afraid of this part of success in my life because I feared rejection from other women. How would I be perceived by other women if I was all of that and a bag of chips?
Fast forward a few months and after huge success in feeling strong and determined in my physical body there it crept again that little seed of self-doubt the kind that grows into a weed, the weed that then wraps it way around your core belief systems. Come on seriously are you are rearing your ugly head again? There it was, me second guessing myself, sabotaging my own success with thoughts that I would be judged if I continued with the path I was on.
After some reflection of this weed I traced back the source, that little moment in which as a child I was accepted for my flaws and rejected for my gifts. The moments where I had learnt to hide behind ‘she will be a good kid because she is not typically pretty, the moments where my dowdiness created acceptance.
I later discussed it with a friend and she shared with me about Oprah Winfrey and how there was a time she believed that she had to be flawed in order to be loved. In that conversation it hit me, wow how many women believe that? What are we doing to ourselves by not standing in our light? It is absolutely paramount that as women we are able to share our stories of adversity and vulnerability in order to empower others, yet it is not paramount that we dim our light in order to make others feel better!
Next time you feel those weeds growing or you feel you must dim your light, stop and look in the mirror, speak to yourself as you would a dear friend, would you let someone you love feel that they must be flawed?
We will be discussing this topic and more in Tea Tuesdays – Dream Talk & Chick Chat!
‘Don’t let someone dim your light, simply because it’s shining in their eyes’ Oprah Winfrey
Dreaming Big Together! Raj