Sometimes when you feel you have lost your way, you are really getting back on your path. Sometimes when you feel uninspired, it’s actually because God is working on you. Sometimes when you feel like things are falling apart they are actually falling together. Sometimes when you feel like you don’t know the direction of your life, it’s because God is speaking to you and you need to listen.
I have been in this place over the past few months where God has been working in my life in a deep way. If I were really honest, since leaving Idaho and moving to the South I feel as though my life has been in some sort of ‘holding position’ in a weird kind of way. As though I have been in an incubator, and that I can do only so much but it’s not my time to bust completely out of what is really meant for my life. The best way I can describe it is like you have the greatest pair of running shoes, and you know you are a fast runner, but your legs won’t get to full speed. You get on the track only to find your legs will only allow you to jog and not to bust out into a full on sprint! YET you can feel it right there. Anytime it’s going to happen…..
I would be lying if I said this state of ‘limbo’ hasn’t been so frustrating at times. I mean really, I have created programs, a few failed websites and a successful one too! I started an Academy with a business partner that ran for only one year, started a Non-profit and dissolved it within two years, wrote three books, wrote for two different magazines, and even filmed a movie in Switzerland this year!
Is it my expectations of how long I am supposed to do any of these incredible adventures that God has put me on, OR is everything actually perfect?
At times, I think that things I am doing and creating should last longer, not so much shifting and changing as much as I feel like it is! After all, I did hold my Corporate position with the same Company for over 20 years, and maybe that is why I feel like things have been changing to quickly since leaving that part of my life! But…… what if? What if it’s all perfect for what God has for me? What IF it really is God’s plan for my life?
I figure I have choices in how I will look at it all, especially these last few months.
Will I look at it and feel that I have a lot of wasted time or is it that God has been grooming me and teaching me the things He needs me to learn? Do I see the incredible things I have created over the last three years as though they were taken too soon or do I see it as it was PERFECT for exactly how it has played out? I would be lying if I said I have trusted in the process every step of the way. Because I haven’t. There have been times, especially in the last year, where I have had those conversations with God asking Him why he placed it on my heart only to end it quickly, or what I feel is quickly. And yet, I know I also play a bigger part too as I co-create my life.
But then, I look at everything I have done, the amazing brothers and sisters I have met along the way, and the incredible experiences I have been on and I think to myself, Je, you are right where you need to be. And right now? My family has moved from Idaho to Texas and now to Louisiana all in a three year time span. And the last couple of months God has put me working with kiddos in a summer camp program.
Did I see that coming? Not until about a week before I got hired, God showed me a vision that I would be working with kids this summer. And all the stuff for my business seems to have come to a halt! When I even try to do something for my spiritual business, things are not smooth at all! Things don’t seem to be flowing or working out. Everything I start feels like it won’t move! It feels as though I am running uphill BOTH WAYS with a bucket of water and spilling the water out with every step! It feels hard, and that tells me I need to stop and to listen. This is exactly what I would tell one of my clients as well. Practice what I preach, right?
I need to stop ‘doing’ and start ‘being’.
Je, I say to myself, just listen for the soft words that God has for me. Even if that doesn’t come in YOUR time, it will be in His. And have FAITH that things are working FOR ME, not TO ME. This is where I realized I am actually closed for spiritual maintenance!
Oh, and also, a side note, you may have noticed my domain name changed….. yea, that. Ha. Well, let’s just chalk it up to say more transformation in my life. Soul Stories. Ahhhh, that feels really incredible right now. I have some fun visions that have been placed on my heart for this blog. But for now, thank you for being my sister or my brother and reading my words. I hope to inspire YOU to be just who God has created you to be. And that includes chasing rainbows, coloring outside of the lines, eating ice cream even when it’s cold outside, and believing in unicorns.
I love you! Welcome to my crazy life, my crazy world, and it’s all perfect really. Because this is me 🙂 and I have come to fall in love with me and my crazy life. 🙂
Your walk with God doesn’t depend on people, places, events, or experiences.
Have a wonderful day!