The Good. The Bad. The Pretty. The Ugly.

Continuation from Part 1…..

I woke at 10pm and didn’t know what day it was. Felt like I had been asleep for days. What just happened? Oh, wait! I have my earphones on! OHHHHHH CRAP! The Mary Magdalene Circle!!! Did I fall asleep? I completely fell asleep!

I went to bed and slept harder than I have slept in a very long time.

5:45 my alarm goes off to get my son up and ready for school. This is the start of day two for the fast. I don’t feel hungry yet. I feel ok. I make yogi tea and do a small meditation. I woke my son and got him to off to school and as I began to prepare for a client session and also some deadlines for my upcoming show. I promised myself I wouldn’t take any calls or get distracted because I have lots I need to do before I pick my son up at 2:30!

I began talking to God about the things that happened the night before.

For some reason I was really being flooded with memories this morning. Not the happy, make you feel good memories but the ones that I buried. I buried them because, well, it’s what I do best. See, in the past when I dealt with painful situations, I did one of three things. And since I am sharing my experience with betrayal and deceit, these are the three things that I would do to deal with them:

Continue reading “The Good. The Bad. The Pretty. The Ugly.”

Never break a promise to yourself

Ouch, this one hits home because I HAVE broken promises to myself. Yet, I don’t want to beat myself up, rather, moving forward I choose to practice the self-love I teach to myself. 

In a post earlier this week I shared “Because it’s the “small promises” that we break to ourself that sets an unhealthy unconscious pattern that whenever you set out to do something, you don’t believe yourself. It’s important that you don’t ever break that trust with yourself. I think of my kiddos when they were in High School and I always told them, “don’t lie to me, because once you do it’s harder to earn that trust back” and guess what? It’s no difference for yourself.” Continue reading “Never break a promise to yourself”

Not all storms are here to disrupt your life

Not all storms are here to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.

Sometimes hitting that reset button is more than you anticipated. Start over from scratch. I have to share something painful YET as I say it I have this inner whisper knowing that it’s exactly as it’s supposed to be. I woke one morning a year ago with this HUGE inspiration to begin writing another book. I remember it was so strong that the words were flowing faster than I could type… wow, I literally had a book that was getting ready to be released and I remember thinking ‘another book already’? If you would have told me years ago that I would be an author and be writing not just A BOOK, but books, I would have laughed and called you crazy. You see, I have never really liked writing. I remember whenever I had to write a book report in school I really struggled. I never enjoyed it. I enjoyed reading just not articulating what I read. 

Ok, let’s get back to my point, haha. SO As I began to write, for three days the words kept coming. With each book I write it keeps getting easier and more fun! Now it’s been a week of on and off writing and I have roughly 50 pages…. Staying up late with little sleep and not feeling tired at all. Wow! This is so awesome I remember thinking. I can see how some authors can write a book a year at this rate! Then…..


Really? What just happened? It was all flowing so perfectly divine and intense, and now what? (Birds chirping) Ok God, I will wait to hear you again, and I will wait to hear my own inner self again. Weekly I would open up the pages and just stare at it. Nope, not here yet… isn’t that interesting? Months go by and then in March I had some computer issues, and I needed to clear some stuff off of it. (Lord knows my poor computer gets overworked! LOL) So I spent a day deleting so many old files and documents and photos that I no longer needed. It was a big job but it did the trick! A week later I thought about the book, went to open it up and felt this sickening sinking feeling in my belly.  Continue reading “Not all storms are here to disrupt your life”


2 and 1/2 hours of sleep?

You would think that I would be exhausted….

Yet, God is doing something big in my life that I can’t explain. The best word I can use to describe this profound awakening is “Re-New”. 

Recently I had someone on Instagram reach out and send me a personal message. (Of course they have a private account see I can’t really so who this person is) I won’t go into the details about it, because it’s just THAT, personal. Apparently my posts and my faith that I portray and the way that I choose to speak MY life and MY own walk with God bothers this person. The comment went ‘It drives me crazy seeing you play this “holy roller” and “God is great”….. 

Let me first back up to say that in my adult life I wouldn’t exactly say I was a Christian, although I absolutely love Jesus and fully am a believer, yet I never felt like I “fit in” to the ‘Christian mold’. And in my adult life I wouldn’t say I was “new age”, even though I have done 4 years of metaphysical studies and my degree shows it, and many people ‘think’ that is who I am (even family members making comments), but I don’t fit into that mold either. I wouldn’t consider myself a Buddhist, even though I love to meditate and LOVE hot yoga….

Do you see where I am going with this?

Continue reading “I STILL RISE……”

Leave the past behind…..

How many times have you heard this or even thought this? And yet, we sometimes it’s still hard. We can obsess, we can ‘wallow’ in our pain, we can beat ourselves up, or even hold on to painful things and bring them up over and over. 

Living in the past keeps us from creating the life we truly crave. I was flipping through my Instagram account earlier and found a post I shared last year, and it’s so relevant for this topic! 

“We cannot become who we want to be by holding on to who we are”

Continue reading “Leave the past behind…..”

Potatoes, Eggs, or Coffee? Which would you rather be?

Hey family! If you have never heard of this inspiring story, let me share it today with you. We have all felt challenges in our life, pain, trauma, and sometimes where there seems to be no ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. This story helps to really shift your perspective on the choices in how you will OVERCOME and PERSEVERE. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do 😉

Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Continue reading “Potatoes, Eggs, or Coffee? Which would you rather be?”

Closed For Spiritual Maintenance

Sometimes when you feel you have lost your way, you are really getting back on your path. Sometimes when you feel uninspired, it’s actually because God is working on you. Sometimes when you feel like things are falling apart they are actually falling together. Sometimes when you feel like you don’t know the direction of your life, it’s because God is speaking to you and you need to listen. 

I have been in this place over the past few months where God has been working in my life in a deep way. If I were really honest, since leaving Idaho and moving to the South I feel as though my life has been in some sort of ‘holding position’ in a weird kind of way. As though I have been in an incubator, and that I can do only so much but it’s not my time to bust completely out of what is really meant for my life. The best way I can describe it is like you have the greatest pair of running shoes, and you know you are a fast runner, but your legs won’t get to full speed. You get on the track only to find your legs will only allow you to jog and not to bust out into a full on sprint! YET you can feel it right there. Anytime it’s going to happen…..  Continue reading “Closed For Spiritual Maintenance”

Faith, Patience, and Perseverance

Today in my prayer time I received words, and then to pull up my email and again, see that God is speaking to me through Joel, so I will share that message too.
Today, the message I received was around patience, perseverance and faith. Sometimes what is needed is to wait on things, because there are some unfinished things that God is working on. This means patience (which is not a strength of mine) and perseverance, and definitely requires faith. When we are planting a new harvest, we have to sow the dirt. We have to really dig it up to get the dirt filled with the right nutrients and make sure it’s hydrated and ready for the crop. If we plant when the dirt is hard and isn’t ready, it will show in the fruit that we bear.

Continue reading “Faith, Patience, and Perseverance”

I say no to gatekeepers, gurus, drama-trauma, and victim mentality!

I woke this morning in Miami on my trip back from Zurich, and I felt as though Jesus was next to me, I was sharing with him about what and how I have limited myself my whole life. All self inflicted of course, and I was reflecting on all of this over breakfast.
So I want to share the message with you that I felt today for myself, and then to open my email and see my brother Joel speaking of it today as well is too cool for school so I have to share that as well!
My message for today is that no matter what you think are your barriers are only there until you ‘see’ and accept that they really are not.
Somehow we create things to help us stay feeling safe inside of our comfort zone. And to be quite honest, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that so to say, as this life is for our choosing on what makes us happy or if we find it cool to be in victim mode, no judgment.

Continue reading “I say no to gatekeepers, gurus, drama-trauma, and victim mentality!”

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