Are you an Entrepreneur, or what I call a Soulpreneur, and sometimes feel alone in your family or your circle with the disconnect many people have with “what it is that you ‘actually do’? I am going to be honest here, I got upset one day a few weeks ago. I will admit that there are times where I get frustrated and I know that it’s a soft spot for me where God is working on me. 

I’m just going to say it……some people think that just because I don’t leave to an office because my office/studio is in my home for the time being, that I don’t have ‘a real job’. They may not say it, but it’s those non-verbal cues and messages that say it. We’ve seen this big shift in our world with many people becoming their own boss and starting businesses from home over the past decade. It’s a beautiful thing, and it helps on so many levels, yet as with anything, there are pros and cons to it.

I often will have friends or family say, ‘wait, now, what is it that you do again?’. 

UGH.

I’ve always said if you have an emotional reaction, there is something triggering inside that needs attention or releasing (sometimes forgiving yourself). So I have sat with this, questioning, why does that statement get me so worked up? Because I do understand that I have a choice to take the questions however I choose. 

Sometimes I’m referred to as a stay at home mom (mompreneur), although now I don’t have a problem being called that at all, but the hard fact is that I work JUST AS HARD now as I did in my Corporate position and sometimes more. I say that because I don’t have the excuse to say no to something because ‘I have to leave to my job’. The truth is, many times I work late nights, do extra work, and make sacrifices because I moved my schedule around to help others, or do extra things for my own family. (I’m not complaining about it, I just really want to explain so that others can get a deeper insight) And if I had my prior job, I wouldn’t have that kind of freedom. Because let’s face it, if I was away from home for my job and my husband needs help with something or my child needs help with homework, I wouldn’t be able available to help. Yet, being at home, I put pressure on myself that ‘Je, you are here, it will only take a minute’. 

I do set boundaries, and over the years I have gotten better because of seeing the importance of it, yet it still slips in sometimes. I seem to think I’m wonder woman! LOL. It can be a double edged sword for many different reasons, yet I am so grateful God made it possible for me to build a business from home. 

Recently I had an experience that got me really annoyed and then I realized if someone has never done a job then they don’t really understand. And how true is that? They may have an ‘idea’ of what your day looks like, as the old adage is ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’. But ultimately, if they have never done what you do, they really have no idea. You don’t know what you don’t know. And to be an entrepreneur you have to be disciplined, organized, and not afraid to roll up your sleeves and work. 

For my entrepreneur friends, be honest……

How many times have you skipped a (family) dinner just because you want to avoid the  odd questions about your life and business? With good intentions they really want to understand, but their old school ways just really can’t understand that you are actually making money from home. 

These questions can be like…

“Can you explain again…what exactly it is that you do?”

“Is that even a THING!?”

“Who pays money for that?”

“Who pays for a coach?”

“You must have so much free time!” *Side note here, I am so resisting the urge to place a sarcastic GIF here LOL, but I will save the sarcasm and zest for another day 🙂

“Oh, you are so lucky.” *Side note here, I DO consider myself (lucky) blessed, and I do feel extremely grateful!

Sometimes, after hearing the questions I end up feeling sorry for myself or I get super annoyed.

And as I said earlier, I sat with these emotional reactions and thoughts about why these comments bother me and I realized this…..

  1. I have very high expectations of myself, where I always feel like all that I do is never enough. I find myself wanting to do more and more for my clients when I already know I give them a lot of value. I know this shows up in other areas of my life too, not just my business. Always feeling like I need to do more for loved ones and friends…. (Do you see the recovering people pleaser creeping in?)
  2. I have always had this belief that I had to work really hard for my money. I come from a family with really strong work ethics and they all work ‘really hard for their money’. As an entrepreneur my work is no longer physically demanding so there are times I realize that I judge myself for that. And the truth be told here, there is no ‘written law’ saying hard work equals success, money or better yet…. Worthiness. Which is something I have worked through on myself.
  3.  (Here is the one that was painful to admit) When I worked outside of the home, I USED to be the one thinking, ‘what do they do all day’….Ohhhh, the judgment, right? Ouch! This was the biggest light bulb! I have shared in other blogs about how what I resist has been because I have served out the judgment to others myself. Oh, how God works in amazing ways when we come to Him with an open heart to be transformed…… 

Yet, still it’s not easy to look in the mirror, but important. And if you are like me you want to be the type of teacher/coach that practices what they preach, so I want to offer this to you today….

Asking yourself inner questions will lead you to explore your emotional triggers/reactions. When you can find the truth to your feelings and your own reactions it opens up space for grace to come in for everyone. The next time the situation comes up not only can you have a new perspective, you can also have a new outcome.

Ultimately, we get to control where we give our joy away to others. It takes raw honesty with yourself, and radical self-work with a willingness to expose all of your shortcomings with love. Some of them may be hard to face or admit, but there is always a reward for it by the freedom you give yourself. The end goal is to be a better version than you were the day before, and so as I see it, we area all carving beautiful sculptures that we get to each call ‘me’. This is who God created you to be, and be proud of who you are, flaws and all. (And, pssst…. They aren’t flaws, they are beautiful parts that make up who you are!)

Remember, God loves you through your mistakes, through your quirks, through your challenges. You are so loved. And if you are an entrepreneur, keep your head up, keep the faith, and know that the road isn’t easy, but it will be worth it in the end. 

I love you, be Blessed!

Je

Je short color signature

 

3 Comments on “What I learned from my own judgment

  1. I can’t wait until I get to do this full time. I feel it coming soon. I celebrate your opportunity to do so. Keep shining your light friend. 🙏🙌💥

    • Oh John, for sure your time is coming! And may God continue to BLESS YOU like the lives that YOU BLESS! You are a blessing to me and so many! I stand with you brother in THAT PRAYER!

  2. Pingback: As I hang my head in shame…. – Soul Stories

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